When Caregiving Falls on One - A Guide for the Adult Only Child

There's a unique and heavy weight that falls on the shoulders of many adult only children: the unspoken assumption that you will be the sole caregiver for your aging parents. While your love for them is immense, the reality of this responsibility can feel overwhelming and isolating.

This post is not about adding to that burden. It’s about giving you a roadmap for a journey that can be both challenging and deeply rewarding. It's about empowering you to care for your parents without losing yourself in the process.

Your Guide to Sustainable Caregiving

Navigating this path requires a blend of practicality and self-compassion. Here are some steps you can take to build a sustainable caregiving plan:

1. Build a Support Team: Just because you’re a single child doesn’t mean you have to be a single caregiver. Identify and enlist help from others. This could be a professional caregiver, a friend who can run errands, or a family friend who can provide companionship. Remember, accepting help is an act of love for yourself and your parents.

2. Set Realistic Boundaries: It's impossible to be available 24/7. Learn to say "no" to non-essential requests and to carve out time for your own mental and physical health. Your well-being is not a luxury; it's a necessity.

3. Financial and Legal Planning: Get your parents' affairs in order early. Consult with a financial advisor and a lawyer to understand options like Power of Attorney, wills, and trusts. This proactive step can prevent immense stress down the line.

4. Process Your Emotions: Acknowledge your feelings—all of them. Seek out a support group, a therapist, or a trusted friend who understands your unique position. Sharing your burden is the first step toward lightening it. For more on this, check out my post on Building Your "Chosen Family" (link to your cluster post here).

Caregiving for a parent is one of the most profound roles you will ever have. It will test your limits, but it can also reveal your incredible strength. You can honor your parents' needs while also honoring your own.

The Solo Caregiver's Challenge

When you're an only child, you don’t have a sibling to share the workload, a person to call for a second opinion, or someone to share the emotional weight with. You are the sole manager of every appointment, every financial decision, and every emotional need.

This can lead to a state of constant stress and burnout. You might feel a sense of guilt for not being able to do more, or a sense of resentment for having to do it all. These feelings are valid, and it’s crucial to acknowledge them.

But here’s the key: you don’t have to do it alone. The solo caregiver’s challenge is real, but the solution isn’t to try harder. The solution is to get smarter.