Escaping the "Spoiled" Label

From a young age, the word "spoiled" has likely been a quiet accusation you’ve had to live with. It’s an easy label for outsiders to apply.

It’s even easier for us to internalize. But the truth is, this label often creates a profound, unspoken guilt around our own desires.

You may have a big dream for your career, a desire for a life of abundance, or simply the ambition to do more. But somewhere deep down, a voice whispers, "Are you being selfish? Are you just proving the stereotype right?" This is the guilt of wanting more, and it’s a burden you don’t have to carry.

This isn't about being ungrateful for what you have. This is about learning to distinguish between what you were given and what you are called to create for yourself.

The Root of Your Guilt

The guilt of wanting more often comes from two places:

• The "Spoiled" Label: You may have grown up in a loving and supportive environment where your needs were met. While a gift, this can be mislabeled as "spoiled," leading you to feel that your success is a result of unearned privilege. As a result, you may subconsciously sabotage your own success or feel unworthy of your own ambition.

• The Desire to Please: As we’ve discussed, only children often become highly attuned to their parents' emotions. You may have learned that your happiness was tied to your parents' approval. This can lead to a belief that wanting "too much" for yourself will disappoint them or make them feel like you are ungrateful for all they’ve done.

This isn't a flaw in your character. It’s a learned response.

Your guilt is simply a sign that you are a highly empathetic person who doesn’t want to be perceived as selfish.

The High Cost of Holding Back

While holding back your ambition may seem like a way to avoid guilt, it has a high cost on your life.

• Stagnation and Regret: You may find yourself stuck in a job or a life that doesn't fulfill you because a part of you is afraid to pursue what you truly want. This can lead to resentment and a deep sense of unfulfillment.

• Anxiety and Self-Sabotage: The inner conflict between what you want and what you feel you "should" want can lead to anxiety. You may subconsciously sabotage opportunities because you don't feel worthy of them.

• A Lost Sense of Purpose: When you live your life to please others, you lose sight of your own purpose. You were created for a unique purpose, and holding back your ambition is holding back the very person you were meant to be.

The Path to Thriving: From Guilt to God-Given Purpose

Healing from this guilt is about learning to give yourself permission to live a life of purpose, free from the judgment of others or the fear of being "spoiled."

1. Redefine the "Spoiled" Label: Acknowledge that what others see as "spoiled" is actually a testament to your parents' hard work and love. You are a product of their loving support, and your success is a way of honoring their sacrifices.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Want More: You have a right to your own dreams and ambitions. Your desires are not selfish; they are a sign of life and purpose. Give yourself permission to pursue them with a clear conscience.

3. Find Your Value in God, Not in Others' Approval: The ultimate freedom from guilt comes from knowing that your worth is not in what you do, but in who you are in Christ. Your value is not tied to your performance or to others' opinions of you. It is fixed and unchangeable. This truth is your key to releasing the burden.

4. Practice Generosity: One of the best ways to combat the "spoiled" label is to practice generosity. Use your success and your abundance as a way to bless others. Generosity is the ultimate antidote to guilt and the surest path to freedom.

Your journey is not about overcoming your past. It’s about leveraging it to build a life of purpose, joy, and abundance that is free from the guilt of wanting more.